How to Look Like a Hick

I’m sitting here at the Chicago O’Hare airport feeling the eyeballs of many resting on us as we situate ourselves inside THE CLUB.

We are in the United Club. We stepped through an automatic sliding door and entered a darkened area where two receptionists wait to see your card that will grant you access to THE CLUB.

All around me are sitting businessmen with their smart phones and laptops and even a few glasses of wine are to be seen.

How to look like a hick.

Tip #1 – Take out your flip phone to make a call. This is guaranteed to make you look behind the times.

But I save $$$ every month. However, that doesn’t stop you from looking hick.

Tip #2 – Open your suitcase and start eating your peanut butter and honey sandwich on whole wheat flour.

Tip #3 Have your son wear jeans that are high waters, showing a few inches of sock.

Some other “country” people have sit down now near me. The one lady payed $15 for her martini and is talking about hot flashes. The other is talking about how the only free beer available at THE CLUB is not worth getting.

The martini lady is a non-stop talker so I’m learning a fair bit about her and the group with her. Ironically, I think she’s going to be on my Phoenix flight.

So yeah I guess I’m a hick but how can I not be happy when I’m traveling with this cute guy? 🙂